Insecurity

I read a quote the other day and it said “Dont let insecurity ruin the beauty you were born with” Now I do not know who said that but it raised the question of what to do with insecurity when your health ruins the beauty you were born with?

With conditions like mine it, things our body has to go through can alter our appearance. If your pressure is high your face is fat, your eyes red and puffy. Certain medications can make our entire bodies bloated. Surgeries we have to have can make our hair fall out or leave us bald with long scars up our backs and stomachs. Eye surgery can leave our eyes in total disarray. When you cant change things about yourself and you know that the condition causing  it will ever go away, those little insecurities turn into bricks that you tug around with you.

For me I am most insecure about my eyes. After my eye surgery, one of them now rolls, the other looks lazy and they are almost always red and swollen. I hate it. Now I laugh about it and cover them up but nothing changes the fact that they will never go back to what they were. But everyday I look at myself in the mirror and remember that I am beautiful lazy eye and all. It helps my confidence that I have a man who finds me beautiful even at my worse. Then I pray for the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

I did not write this post for sympathy or for anyone to comment on how beautiful I really am despite my rolling eye balls, just to let the people who endure through thicker insecurities then mine know they are not alone. Also know that real beauty comes from when a woman knows her flaws, embraces them adjust her crown and carries on.