I have been in a committed relationship with a wonderful man for 4 years. He is honestly the best blessing I never knew I needed. When I met him I had medical issues but no where near sick like I am now. We all know that being chronically ill can have a tenuous strain on any and all relationships especially romantic ones.
It causes all types of issues, one that was hard to get used to was the surprise looks and comments you get from healthy people when they find out that we (the chronically ill) are in happy healthy loving relationships. You know those looks you get, the comments people make. I’ve heard it all, someone has told my man before how good of a man he is because he takes care of me. But yesterday I experienced the most offensive comments thus far. While at the hair salon a random hair stylist standing next to me watches as my man comes in to kiss me and let me know he is there to get me whenever I am done. After he leaves she turns around and says ” Oh I’m so happy you have a boyfriend you know and all with your situation and she points to my cane. As if my cane restricts me from being loved. I guess my “situation” as she calls it makes me a monster shunned from society who could never be found attractive. I could not believe her words. I’ve had people look at me with relief when they find out my illness hasn’t left me alone and rejected by all men but this shocked me.
After giving this woman a piece of my mind the anger left and the shock continued to set in, after that passed I realized I was a little sad. Sad that in this day and age someone who may be a little different than you is chastised.Yes, I am different but only because I am ill. I did nothing to cause it , I cant do anything stop it and I have no control over it but my peers think that this means that no one would love me. Or I am not worthy of a partner willing to put in the extra work it takes to be with someone chronically ill. Well my man, he loves me with a love stronger than most people ever feel healthy or not. And my illness does pose some challenges but in other ways it enhances our relationship. We appreciate the smaller moments that most people take for granted. We know what its like to spend nights in the hospital and see your significant other on what could be a deathbed it helps us to love harder.
I decided to write about my experience in the hair shop to hopefully let others who have experienced anything similar to know that no matter what people say or think, no matter the look they give you, the pity they may feel…. you deserve to be loved. You deserve that kiss your man gives you, the smile your woman gives you across the room, the love of your spouse. It doesn’t matter if they are your sole caregiver or not. Others opinions and pity is their problem not yours. Don’t let others ignorance make you feel like you’re less than or stop you from finding true love. Everyone deserves someone to love. No matter what medical device you carry around or illness you have, you have the God given right to be loved.