Accessories

Every woman loves accessories, A new necklace that goes with that beautiful dress. Some shiny earrings to match the new shoes you got on sale.

Maybe even a hat, I love them all but the accessories I hate are the ones im forced to take with me everywhere I go, my cane or walker , my wheelchair on bad days. I don’t know if its just me but I feel so self conscious walking into a crowded room with my red walker not far in front of me rolling into the room. How crazy a 22 year old must look stopping to take a seat on my walker because my body cant make it one more step without a breather. That feeling when every ones eyes are on you and you know there is nothing you can do to stop it. Sometimes my self conscious is so high I don’t want to go out especially on days where I have to use my wheelchair. In a social setting its terrible. Pushing myself into the room knowing you’ll need special accommodations, feeling like your in the way. The big bulky chair taking up space. The sparkling wondering eyeballs following you across the room. I thought that id personalize my “accessories” to make me feel more comfortable when I was out and about.

You know help me feel more like the confident woman I use to be but even that made me feel like it brought double the attention to me when all I wanted to do was fade into the background. I got a cane in my favorite color green and now people look harder at that. Probably asking who I think I am and what could be wrong with this young woman. Oh well I guess with my chronic pain and since ill always be chronically ill that I will just have to get used to it. Cant a girl wear her “accessories” in peace especially since I have too.