Yes I’m sick enough

When we’re sick, I think we are extremely hard on ourselves about everything. Me,I always feel like my chronic illness is not enough. When people say I don’t look sick, I always think well, what is sick supposed to like? Or I feel down on myself thinking maybe everyone thinks i’m faking because I do not look sick. When it comes time to fill out paperwork for Social Security I read my own story and think I am not sick enough to deserve the governments help. Then my feelings are confirmed when I am denied not once, not twice but four times. Then I go to my doctors appointment and see people worse off then me and I feel like I do not deserve all the attention my doctors give me, all the help I get for my illness, all the phone calls my nurse has to return to answer my question.I don’t feel sick enough when I see others who seem to be worse off then I am but a friend once told me that everyone hurts differently and don’t let seeing how other people experience their pain diminish your own.  Just because I am able to have some good days doesn’t mean that my bad days aren’t horrible and far worse than anyone else’s worse days. No I may not be in a hospital bed today but that person in the hospital bed might not be able to handle the immensity of pain that I have. Yes others can question if I’m faking it, or not understand my chronic illness or pain but I should not. Who says what sick enough is anyway. I think the take away from all of this is when you are chronically in pain and hurting don’t let anyone not even yourself tell you that your’e not sick enough whether its to get help or assistance, recognition or respect. Your pain is your own and that is enough.

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